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show me the money
It's no mystery that I am currently obsessed with money and the lack of my having it. I am no stranger to a dearth of wealth but I always had enough. Last night's escapade of
- Insufficient Funds
- put something back
- still Insufficient Funds
- give up and go home empty handed
just made me realized exactly how unaware of how quickly my money goes out. No, it's not all that bad but I do forget I debited the rental of two movies when I should have saved that for food. But we have plenty in the fridge so no food bank for toasty. just no toast :(
Anywayz, my brain decided to pick on me last night and gave me a dream about money and working status and bonuses. I am currently at the end of my contract and awaiting with bated breath about either being renewed for a few more months OR being provided with a spanking new position, one basically of my own creation, sort of a documents & services manager with pitbull-like tendencies on Getting Things Done. Being hired or not is on my mind.
So I dreamed about getting hired. For some reason I was chatting with a person in accounting about my latest paystub. We don't actually do that but in the dream we do. There was an additional line stating I was getting $30,000 in addition to my usual 2week pay. And it wasn't a mistake. It was a bonus, a retroactive payment to give me a year's salary at what the management had decided I should have been paid. And it was confirmation that I was getting hired with a nice sized raise in pay. Wow.
I have never actually worked for a company that gives bonuses and I know this one does but I doubt it would ever be 5 figures. Weirder still is the idea that my subconscious believes I was doing good enough job to deserve a bonus. My conscious brain would never believe that. I have too many demons that beleaguer my self-worth to ever actually think I am doing a good job without feeling like a liar. Still, I know a few people have said it so that's worth something.
Anywayz, if things go as planned, anything up to that amount will be accepted with cheer.
January 10 08
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