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| going forward It has come to a point where I have to strategize how I am going to continue. It's as if the last little dribbles of networking and resume churning have gone down the drain and now it is entirely up to me to find myself better work: less stressful and better paying and more rewarding. By me I mean, not based on my resume which did not get me a job and not by friends, who have tried their unbelievable best. And thanks guys & gals, i know i don't vocalize appreciation but i really appreciate such efforts... this goes as well for the people who don't read the blog. By me, I mean I will have to figure out what I do best and apply it to a job find. I will have to find confidence where there is none really to be found. One thing about working under bad management is the undermining of all self-confidence you have. When you know you are doing a good job but it is an environment where good is not recognized, only bad, it is hard to hold onto that self-worth. I literally have to be sick for two days (currently, severe stomach cramps brought on by a bug or ulcers or something) for my mind to come back to a non-self-recriminating attitude. One day back and the cloud of doom is back. Bad environment. But I have learned a quite few skills at this retail job. I have learned that I manage people well, even to the point of being the bad-guy when I have to. And as a manager, you have to have to play the bad-guy occasionally, when the situation calls for it. Why am I feeling the role of manager? Because when someone is not doing what they are supposed to and it affects my own roles and the people who support my roles, I step in. I realized years ago that asking a management team member to perform that task for me was getting no where. And this is one of the many reasons I am not actually a manager. I play from the support & develop side of things, not the usual retail game. I have also learned that I can see overall pictures very well, make note of those elements that can be handled, and handle them. Many many many times this involves items on the chain of activity that I am not personally responsible for. It took me a long time to learn not to do the task but just make sure the tools were there for the person responsible, and just coaxe it into fruition. You see, I work in a world where there is always a 250% workload. So more does not get done then gets done. Choosing what does get done is actually pretty easy but making sure you don't get buried under the other load is pretty hard. Still, the skills I have brought out with me are valuable. Now, I just have to figure out how to find a way to fit them into another job. March 26 06 |
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