ThisBoyIsToast V4 >> March 2006 Archives

I always lose this Text Quoter which I used because I am too lazy to stop using Outlook Express, which for some reason leaves out quotes on half the email. You figure they would have fixed that by now.

This Superman article is by a Matt Rossi, the name of a guy who I used to read religiously. He was one of the people that seemed to be the reason that the web/blogs were created -- so much was coming out of his head: superhero ponderings, alternate histories, disturbing explanations of odd bits of reality, etc. I wonder if this was him and if so, what he is up to lately. March 29 06

OK, I want to change my "career" but I have no idea where to begin? Do I look for anyone who will have me, even with my expired industry skills? Or do I seek professional help? I talked to someone who used to work for HRDC (or whatever they are called now) and it was not just my impression, but they are actively discouraging anyone (under)employed from seeking change or upgrade. So, the professionals... ever heard of CareerJoy or Catalyst Careers or BlueFrog? Anyone with experiences doing this willing to give advice? P.S. If you are a big name Toronto blogger, could you repost this so I might get some traffic from people who do have advice. I have already asked the nine people who read this site and if I ask again they are going to growl at me :) March 28 06

I had a surprise day off today (i always have sunday off but rarely sunday & monday) and I intended on getting some things done like mopping the floor and taking the duvets to the laundromat. I sat down at the pooter while the dishes were soaking and 5 hours later I noticed I was still playing Civilization IV. Zoinks.

I believe this anime inspired single wheel bike reminds me of some anime that was set on Mars.

Holy fruckin' transformin' trucks !! This Optimus Prime would even make me excited to see a movie of them.

Oh now this is the type of site I want to see for inspiration, the blue ink of Bearskinrug.

Speaking of, this Serena Dawn Spaceport has a neat Ghost in the Shell d20 RPG, I guess being mostly constructed from details watching the show, as opposed to any official data.

I am still pondering the dream I had the other night, the one about a nuclear detonation on North American soil that all but devastated a major city. The memorable parts are me rounding up partially uplifted dogs roaming the ruins in confused packs, like children hurt by their parents. The memorable parts are news reports and studies about why the calcified remains of the million or so people at ground-zero were reduced to bits of toes and feet, all the rest vaporized. The memorable parts, stolen from Ghost in the Shell, were walking the radiation scrubbed edges of the ground-zero crater only weeks after it happened. March 27 06

So if Marvel and DC trademark Superhero, will they then want to trademark mutant, metahuman, power, cape, etc. as well?

Migawds, the video demonstrating Spore Gameplay is just astounding! Imagine a massively multiplayer (but not the way you think) where you can go from evolving a lifeform (multicellular) all the way up to running a multi-system starfaring race. This could easily replace WoW as a lifestyle. Warning, please set aside a half hour to watch it all.

Whoah, cliftonfhicks says this about this photoblog:

"The pictures should hopefully speak for themselves. In Iraq I learned to hate the war and those who support it. "

It has come to a point where I have to strategize how I am going to continue. It's as if the last little dribbles of networking and resume churning have gone down the drain and now it is entirely up to me to find myself better work: less stressful and better paying and more rewarding. By me I mean, not based on my resume which did not get me a job and not by friends, who have tried their unbelievable best. And thanks guys & gals, i know i don't vocalize appreciation but i really appreciate such efforts... this goes as well for the people who don't read the blog. By me, I mean I will have to figure out what I do best and apply it to a job find. I will have to find confidence where there is none really to be found.

One thing about working under bad management is the undermining of all self-confidence you have. When you know you are doing a good job but it is an environment where good is not recognized, only bad, it is hard to hold onto that self-worth. I literally have to be sick for two days (currently, severe stomach cramps brought on by a bug or ulcers or something) for my mind to come back to a non-self-recriminating attitude. One day back and the cloud of doom is back. Bad environment.

But I have learned a quite few skills at this retail job. I have learned that I manage people well, even to the point of being the bad-guy when I have to. And as a manager, you have to have to play the bad-guy occasionally, when the situation calls for it. Why am I feeling the role of manager? Because when someone is not doing what they are supposed to and it affects my own roles and the people who support my roles, I step in. I realized years ago that asking a management team member to perform that task for me was getting no where. And this is one of the many reasons I am not actually a manager. I play from the support & develop side of things, not the usual retail game. I have also learned that I can see overall pictures very well, make note of those elements that can be handled, and handle them. Many many many times this involves items on the chain of activity that I am not personally responsible for. It took me a long time to learn not to do the task but just make sure the tools were there for the person responsible, and just coaxe it into fruition. You see, I work in a world where there is always a 250% workload. So more does not get done then gets done. Choosing what does get done is actually pretty easy but making sure you don't get buried under the other load is pretty hard. Still, the skills I have brought out with me are valuable.

Now, I just have to figure out how to find a way to fit them into another job. March 26 06

OK, I feel the need to redesign. But unlike blogging days past when there were many design oriented sites which you could browse for ideas, I have no clue where to go for inspiration. I will build a category just for the idea of inspiring sites and will credit everyone who suggests something. Please send anything you find nice, clean, attractive, well-done, snazzy, etc.

Also, as a sideline, thisboyistoast.biz will make a comeback not as the site of a webdesigner but as the site of another sort of webmonkey, more related to the skills i have now (albeit expired as they are), sort of fluffy, life-experience related. If you see any sites where people do more than place a portfolio and resume and a laundry list of three-letter technologies, please tell me as well.

Does this latter one make sense? March 26 06

In lieu of real conversation our lil group of freedom fighters often falls back on the same topics of conversation: old tv shows, transformers, CoH & CoV, movie/simpsons/family guy references, etc. One such topic is the design of a Blogging Collectible Card game. Now there is a possibility we could do it.

Of course you know a part of me is focused on that part of her " It's a bad time to start a company" statement saying, "Everyone's gainfully employed, and fielding several offers." That is, everyone who has a current skillset. I wonder how many people are floating in the same boat as me, one of expired skills because you had to work elsewhere in order to pay for groceries? I am sure, if my recent interviewing experiences have been similar, that when you post a position you still have hundreds if not thousands of people applying. The schools are still churning out candidates without any experience and probably sub-standard skills. Maybe the programmers with the Hot Skillz are already snatched up but you already know they were the first to be re-employed after the bubble burst and they are nervous about leaving their stable little company job for another potential burst of the bubble. Sure, everyone wants to be offered 100k for their job but no one wants to be looking for work three years later when the wonder snazzy everyone-will-subscribe Web2.0 tool turns out to be just another bad Flickr clone.

Bitter? Not me.

Speaking of, I have actually met someone who is even more bitter about this than me. She is from the previous generation of IT people, someone who never actually had any programming or technology skills but ended up in middle management managing workflow. Her job required to repeat what she was doing and never update. Once unemployed she had nothing to market and still bemoans the fact today some 6 years later. March 25 06

Hrrrm, a blog in Japan I will read for a while called HOYOYO. It has the usual anime & gadget interests which are mine as well, so...

Ahhhh man, if you are going to claim yourself President for Life at least have more than one national holiday named after yourself. (thanks joan for the politically informative giggle)

For the reality show that is my life I require these Pre-pixelated clothes.

Not being a viewer of the show Lost it took me a few minutes to figure out what this Lost Widget was, not that i can install it anyway.

This may be excedingly violent but Gamers Are Getting Owned is still hillarious.

I like the attitude behind Mutiny at the Cafe but I fear it wouldn't do much; oh wait, it didn't do anything.

Dear potential employer, if you end up reading this blog because I did tell you about it, I am not such a scatterbrained, manic-depressive loser as I make myself out to be. This is where I let my inside voice come out. I still would be a good employee. Please?

I am surprised to find myself deeply interested in reading such research material as Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers. It's about stress and the effect it has on us. Yes, I am under stress probably 23 of the 24 hours of the day, seven days a week. It's gone from stress connected to tangible circumstances to a constant state of high tension, super awareness, slight paranoia, headaches, anxiety, etc. I have been thinking more and more about this state lately. And it's because I remember a time when I didn't feel stress and didn't really understand what it meant.

Depression? Yes, I always knew that feeling but stress was something I only learned in the last 7 or so years. Before then I knew anxiety was a normal state and I could deal with it, letting it ride over me knowing that sooner or later the circumstance that was causing me stress would leave and I would be back to normal. Being stressed constantly is like having a switch stuck in the on position. Muscles are tight, attention is shifting every ten seconds, simple concepts become difficult, patience is non-existant, little things become big things easily, etc. I imagine the brain uses a chemical to put you in a state that allows you to deal with stressful situations, allowing multitasking and a bit more energy. But the stress is supposed to dissipate and you go back to normal. It must be incredibly damaging to have that chemical in your system all the time. I definately feel like a different person these days, a bit of a dullard, not very tolerant and lacking any empathy at all. Being under stress all the time makes it difficult to change the situation I need to leave in order to have less stress. But is it all job related? I don't know. March 18 06

Hot damn !!! A new series called Stand Alone Complex : Solid State Society !! (thanx nood)

It's not often these days that I will link to a site because I like the design.

Damn, these City of Heroes images at Douglas Shuler's Digital Gallery are pretty good.

I just about became a crime statistic this afternoon. The day was fine, just the usual frustrations of idiots and assholes, but other things have been weighing on my mind so I was a little thin on patience. I was waiting for a white crossing light and when I stepped onto the crosswalk, I heard the gunning of a large engine. I looked left to see a red monster of a HumVee barrelling towards me, the driver looking left. Why?? She had a green light, no one would cut her off and yet she took her eyes off the crosswalk and gunned it towards me. I stumbled back somewhat deer in headlights and she turned her wheel to avoid me which, if she hadn't braked would have brought her up on the curb and squashed me flat. I instantly became furious, downright seething with rage. I yelled quite a few swear words and almost tossed my groceries through her windshield. She swore back at me and once again gunned the engine of her red beast and drove around me. It took me more than five more blocks to calm down.

What is with drivers these days? The crosswalk light is not a suggestion. It gives me the right to cross right? If I waited until all drivers actually let me cross, I would always be back to the orange hand before I could cross. Don't they think about the consequences of what a couple of thousand pound vehicle does to a body? It probably does more damage than to their car. Is it based on the no-fault insurance I always hear about? Do pedestrians have ANY rights in this city? I repeat this situation at least once a week but not often with a driver in a monster vehicle. Most give me the apologetic look but statistically I only have a few more crossings left before I am a traffic statistic.

On a completely different note, I just closed down the comments to a post about C'est What I made last year. I don't go to the place anymore as the service has become increasingly hostile since they closed the other side. They really only want a certain kind of patron, the kind that pays with credit cards and leaves quickly. They don't want lingerers only drinking beer and their wait staff makes it very clear. Oh, why did I close the comments? Because this is the one post that recieves 99% of my comment spam. I am paranoid enough to believe someone associated with them has initiated the spam being offended by my post. Let's see if this post gets spammed. March 17 06

This is a great lightsabre duel but i have two questions. What was the last power he used? What were they fighting over?

These 15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense is surprisingly even toned even if the article was given such a melodramatic title.

This article on the New James Bond movie makes it sound like I might enjoy it.

Blamb also does massively online gaming but in space, via Eve Online. This one sounds even more intriguing than others I have seen but it scares me, scares me in the way I have never been timesunk before.

I pretty much agree with the take this local television writer has on The Strangeness of Fans, as related to the season finale of Battlestar. (blamb-ed)

Really, I cannot ignore a Japanese religious ceremony where people walk around holding a giant penis. I think this is safe for work.

Hey, this lil note from megnut says that there might be a burger joint for Keller. He's one of those celebrated chefs that Nood geeks about. I understand that celebrated chefs like when wealthy patrons coming in and spending money but do they ever get the experience of food geeks? Does a crowd of not so wealthy patrons come in hoping to meet the celebrity chef leading to a moment of, "Duuuuude I SO like what you did with the DUCK, maaaan!!! Can we get a photo with you for our photoblog???" I have always wanted to upscale my eating, choosing to wear clothes a little better , save some extra dough and eat at a place where they have napkins, require reservations and would majorly frown upon our loud, raucous and references to, "6-slotting damage on that bitch!!!" I am sure I could handle upscale eating if it was a burger joint. March 13 06

Some guy from montreal is trading things for bigger and better things. He started with one red paperclip.

You would hope that the opening post about the Battlestar Galactica season finale would be a, "Oh my frakkin' gawds of kobol !!" but instead it starts with, "Isn't Starbuck hot with long hair?"

OK, anyone that eats in China Town or at the Pacific Mall knows that sometimes the menu translator can make us chuckle. But sometimes just translating word for word without structure can lead to interesting food choices.

The popularity of the Chuck Norris Facts (if you haven't seen the link already, shame on you) is so apparent, our little group appears to be Chuck Norris fans in public. Now watch Chuck himself read from the list.

Cute comics/cartoons & references to comix and RPGs. I think I will read Metrokitty for a little while.

OK, I want a bubble car. Warning: NSFCIB (not safe for cosplayers in background)

So last night I had bring in the man of many 50s to help me with a CoV mission. Earlier that day I had asked J to help, and some stranger jumped in as well, and that attempt failed in a rash of loud swearing and three more deaths. Debt Monkey is my next character name. You see, I usually don't get all that wrapped up and I chuckle (get frustrated) when I hear J swearing like a great lakes sailor and finally coming to me to, "Find that one fucker hiding behind a box." But after seven deaths and about 11k total debt, I was pissed. Bad Bad Boy was pouting. So, Nood brought on one of his highlevels and we went at it, at one point him dropping the Malefacting state to pound on the Behemoths that had plagued me earlier. Those bastiches taken care of, the mission came to a quick end and so did another storyline. I love storyline bonuses, which quickly had taken care of my debt. Yay BBB.

That was my day off. I did do most of the dishes and i did make dinner. March 07 06

Toast the toast and boil water for the french press, it's The Toasterkettle. (thanx jer)

Computer geeks know that null is often used as an inbox for testing messages. But what if your email address was null@whoever?

While randomly wandering a friend's LiveJournal Friends listings, I came across these incredible photos On the Corner. p.s. ...

It was at the point where I decided to cut out my personal comments from a blog post, that these Link Fodder posts were all I had in me. For example, I saw this link for we*heart*prints and could have come up with a post about liking to support arts, needing more clean wall space, needing a new income bracket to have a house to house art, etc. Instead you got this.