tbit :: still... ver3.0

Thursday, January 30, 2003.

7:51 PM - Ow ow ow ow. Ow. Part Deux. My eyes are better but my head is swimming. I have the same kind of headache now attached to some sort of caffeine induced, worry intensified, panic collaborated fuzz between my ears. The day started fine with time spread out, plans laid out and a mood flat and manageable. Now hours and hours later, cups and cups of strong strong coffee only diluted by a small bowl of soup and a handfull of nacho chips have left me counting minutes until midnight. At midnight the day will end and I will have accomplished only a minute amount of want I wanted/need to do today. I walk around the apartment, having returned from a failed mission to Kensington Mkt (anyone know where i can get chorizo?) seeing dust that needs sweeping, dishes that need washing, clothing that needs sorting and other clothing that needs washing, rooms that need cleansing, graphics that need chopping, sites that need finishing, boxes that need filling, other boxes that need emptying, CDs that need printing, cats that need brushing, teeth that need brushing, books that need reading, groceries that need to be bought, food that needs to be made and and and and... Ow. Ow ow ow.

I need a blankie.

2:53 PM - This is a heavy download so make sure yer big bandwidth. It is the visualOrgasm portal from Germany (i guess) with a bulletin board motiff. (via jason)

2:51 PM - This is definately naughty so don't click ByDavid.net if you are at work or easily offended. Porn as part of design seems almost to make sense when you consider where most of the dezine kidz spend their time and the source imagery that comes their way. And I doubt many of the porn purveyors are attacking them for copyright infringement when they mod the images to all hell. That said, I really like the work he does, especially some of the vs. work, the collage-y sort of "old school" design of it all. It inspires me to take some of the basic images floating around my head (non-porn) and build some CD covers.

2:41 PM - New desktop by isotopic.

1:14 PM - Last night I DLed a pirate copy of Freehand 10 cuz I find my pirate copy of Illustrator 9 far too cumbersome and memory piggish. I really want to start integrating some custom vector graphics into my CD covers and subsequently, my web designs. So I googled and started here at Mike's Sketchpad FreeHand Tutorials. I also like the freehand source but more for it's right hand "This doesn't really work" toolbar.

Wednesday, January 29, 2003.

9:48 PM - Ow ow ow ow. Ow. I now have a headache and my eyes seem to be dangling on my cheeks. I just re-tryed the kottke stereoscopic image thingy and fuck, did it hurt. I had to cross my eyes to try and I believe that is the first time I have crossed my eyes since my eye operation all those years ago. I knew the muscles of the left eye were a little wonky and delicate but I didn't know how much. It's bad enough that I can no longer see those 3D images that used to take up mall space years ago, but now I cannot even cross my eyes. Pooey. Ow.

12:06 PM - I like the idea behind Swappingtons and might actually use it, but for the fact that the reason I want to get rid of some things is to... get rid of some things. Adding more to the pile, in return for emptying off others, would just continue the conundrum. (link via zod)

Tuesday, January 28, 2003.

11:18 PM - I was going to re-read this post about A-Listing, from OnePotMeal, in earnest and post a comment or two or even formulate a response here. Then I remembered I had meatball & blackbean soup on the stove and that seemed more important. It is.

9:01 PM - OK, the only whore I ever spoke to was wearing a neon green dress. Insert one segue to state that liz is blogwhoring. It's not like we're required to be creative, right?

8:04 PM - Oh gawd, I just couldn't stop reading. It just kept on coming out, off the screen and dribbling down my shirt. Yup, a motherly a*hole tells us about her baby. I think this is probably good reading for my baby-ified friends. Oh, and if you take exception to the link I used, just scroll to the top of the blog. (from the front to the back)

11:01 AM - OK, the adolescent troll in me wants to make the American Intelligence and oxymoron comment. But I don't really have any reason to, seeing that most of the recent stories don't have any comments in them (thus proven doofi) and some of the info is actually interesting. My conspiracy minded side could have a field day in here.

10:48 AM - To be honest, I don't get to say this very often (no matter what the article said) but it is nice when I am surprised. I am really fond of the minimal elements of the 5foot1.org design. Note; she is also a Tawranna blogger that slipped through Rannie's cracks. *blinks twice* Well, that sounded rude.

10:16 AM - First thought is, "Wow." The second thought is, "How did I miss this?" The Adobe Studio Exchange is all about easy to share "actions, plug-ins, extensions, tutorials, and other helper files" to be used in popular Adobe apps. (found via the link robustness and MT friendly lovelinks)

Monday, January 27, 2003.

10:47 PM - OK, what is the IE6 (most likely CSS related) bug that stops the scrolling down of MT based blogs like dandruff or ceri's cauldron ?!? I scroll down to the bottom of their right hand margin and *clunk* the scrolling stops.

10:39 PM - Football lovers got all my nachos, bean dip and my Matrix: Reloaded trailers.

1:25 AM - You know, this is the best version of the probable new WTC building that I have seen. Designed by Antoni Gaudi, who died in 1926, I think it is the perfect rendition of what the future would look like from his long dead eyes. It is a building of the future that never happened and never will, where life was utopian and derrigibles would dock at the top of the structure, if not flying cars. (link via blork)

Sunday, January 26, 2003.

5:29 PM - 3Edition D&D (soon to be 3.5) has an exciting manner in which to progress your character from one of the core classes. You do not have adopt the skills and powers of another class in order to change your path, but at a later level you can adopt a Prestige Class. I had something in mind for an NPC that did not fit those I had "official" access to so I hunted through this Starlin's Web Guide to 3E Prestige Classes and found the one I needed.

Saturday, January 25, 2003.

1:39 PM - I actually had an urge to see how many babies michael could drop before the police would show up and arrest him. (weirdness via crystallyn)

Thursday, January 23, 2003.

11:04 PM - The below mentioned page, the resume and portfolio that will get me a job, is going to be as XHTML valid as I can make it. I am not much one for dry W3C articles and specs, tiring myself out before I get anywhere. But this Better Living Through XHTML from the zeldman folks is a good starting place, as well as it's companion piece at the NYPL. Yeah yeah, I am a little behind the times; I have been focusing on becoming adept at suggesting which lamp should go with the Flax Velvet Drapes with the Fleur-de-Lis finial on the drapery rod. Hell, a year ago I didn't even know what a finial was.

10:34 AM - One of my projects that will never get started, let alone done, yet still sit in every ToDo List is my About Portal. Essentially a portal to all the "About xxxx" pages I have found and enjoyed. For example, Jonathon Delacour: About would be on it purely for opening a comments feature for the page.

12:11 AM - Once again, in the never ending cycle, I am wondering as to why I receive so few responses as to my resume churning. I am not daft and of so low a self esteem to believe that no one has interest in my skill set and hasn't even taken the chance to offer me a piddly wage -- the piddly wage I would take gladly right now. So, another theory has arisen in the paranoid camp that is my head. This says that people are following my online portfolio / freelancing site to this weblog, reading the morose complaints, bitter rants and droll mundanity of it all and deciding that this is just not the guy they wish to hire. Yeah yeah, they just don't realize that this is not the personality I carry with me while doing gainful employment things. I can be professional as the next guy, when need requires. I even shave.

So with that said, I am going to revamp my Sympatico webspace and direct all potential employers to that site. It will contain a resume and a subset portfolio, enough to extract a nibble from the submitted-ones. With a nibble comes an interview and there I can dazzle them with my wit and repartee (and skillset). Now looking around at online resumes, such as Jason Kottke's, I wonder what makes it better -- clear and concise or flashy and snazzy? Or a bit of both? Others: Matt Haughey, Paul Bausch, Peterme, Christina Wodtke...

Wednesday, January 22, 2003.

5:21 PM - Back in montreal, dinner in China Town was a staple. If I wasn't running over to grab takeout of Cantonese Chow Mein then we were stopping at Cali for Pho. In the summer I always had a vietnamese iced coffee, served via small brewers on top of a small cup filled with sweetened condensed milk. Once it brewed through, you poured the dark sweet mixture over the tall glass of ice. It was also quite tasty hot. It was often referred to as "vietnamese espresso" by my coworkers and the menus and when I asked where to get it, they all told me about a yellow can found at most China Town markets. Well I started buying that yellow can and was quite amused that it turned out to be Cafe Du Monde coffee & chicory; from New Orleans. Now why is that?

12:59 AM - You like cute right? Of course you like cute. Cute new desktops from a cute designer and her cute company. *ducks*

12:56 AM - Unlike many design contests that seem to be easy way for a company selling a product to cheaply gain fresh looks, this girlie t-shirt contest seems mainly about outfitting beautiful women in stylish, and most likely tight, Ts. There are some very very nice pieces in the already-submitted area. I am fond of the asymetrical examples.

Tuesday, January 21, 2003.

10:23 PM - I know three things about Alexandro Jodorowsky:

He writes epic sciFi, presented in european style, big page, hardcover comic books. They are of the themes commonly found in the pages of Heavy Metal and they may or may not have the breasts of Druuna.
I have seen one of his movies, Holy Mountain. I found it overbearing and incomprehensible, too concerned with it's own brilliance. And really, did I need to see a man shit in a bowl?
He was supposed to do the film adaptation of Dune but it ended up in the less confusing hands of David Lynch.

(link via zod)

11:22 AM - Book right now and you too can see Mordor, Rivendell and the classiest joints in MiddleEarth !! Yep, you heard it here, tours of the place that inspired those popular movies. And coming next year, thanks for help from the Raelians and some advanced age-advancing methods straight from Kamino, next year we will be arranging "encounters" with Middle Earth's popular inhabitants, The Elfs !! Bulk discounts available. (via the scary cat lady)

10:13 AM - You know, this computer would take up a lot less space on my desk and fits quite well with my life's theme.

12:40 AM - Anybody who knows me well, knows I have a fascination with getting mail. I can be easily be coaxed out of bed by the clanging of the mail slot on our door, even if it is only for flyers. I used to feed the fascination with penpals, SLAM books and postcards galore. I am one of the seven people out there who truly enjoyed Costner's The Postman, truly getting wrapped up in a romantic post-apocalyptic world where a man delivering letters represents the return of civilization. I am currently re-reading the David Brin book it was based on, enjoying the more sobre take the book has for the Postman's (Gordon Krantz) romantic ideal. Gordon realizes he is using it only to get attention, food and safe passage but cannot help but fall into his own trap of Hope For The Future. In recently watching the movie again (I own it on DVD) and re-reading the book, I thought, "Damn! I could be a postman!!" I could easily be that guy wandering by with a bundle of letters, hopes and dreams, tales of newborns and family gossip and false promises from Ed McMahon. I could be the nice guy who gives me those packages of comics, two-bite brownies and a Tshirt I won't wear in public. Alas...

12:25 AM - I have films and books that I know are brilliant and I know I will enjoy. I avoid them until I need a boost, a rise from the mundanity of it all. Tonight's pick-me-up was an anime from a few years ago called Perfect Blue. It's not your typical anime, and no not in the way that Spirited Away is not typical but in it's plot. This movie could have easily been presented in live action as it is about a pop-idol who suffers an identity issue when she decides to change her life from pop music to acting. Toss in a stalker, some very bad initial role choices and a few very nasty hallucinations and you get a very creepy, compelling thriller.

One of the styles of the movie was the "waking within a dream" concept. Mima is constantly waking up from horrible situations into even nastier ones. We the viewers begin to lose track as to where reality is, not having the cues normally associated with live action Hollywood films. The weird thing is that for the last week or two I have been suffering the same. But for me, I awake from a nightmare into a quite nice, fulfilling world, only to wake again to this one.

This morning I awoke from a brutal dream of body dismemberments and apocalyptic warnings, of which I was centered in, to a nice warm apartment. I got up from bed late in the morning, around 11am, knowing well that I did not have to worry about waking at any particular time. I was a successful and fulfilled freelancer in some area of the arts, I believe it was design. This week's nightmare cold was not apparent as the floor was warm to my bare feet and as I dressed in a tight, very fashionable shirt, I noticed that my stomach was tight and flat. The exercise was working for me, and it made me feel better as well. My hair was longer, with sort of a shaggy comfort to it. I knew I had a good day ahead of me, dinner with friends, a client meeting I was looking forward to and maybe some window shopping. I walked into the kitchen to make some congee.

The howling wind outside woke me up. It was 11am and I slept in far too late. I could feel the temperature was really low as I put my feet down, and I looked at my soft and bulging middle. As the dream drifted away, I felt my gut just sink. Confidence and contentment were replaced by reality. The day ahead of me held cold walks, arguing with the bank over a bounced rent check, a sinkfull of dirty dishes and the job hunt. Not a bad day, unto itself, but it severely lacked the pleasure of the fading dream-day. The dream faded quickly and all that remains clear is the feeling of contentment and the feel of that really cool looking shirt I put on.

Monday, January 20, 2003.

5:10 PM - Why is it, having played my first version of it on an XT sometime in the late 80s, I am still excited about a game like Pocket Tanks. Now, if the game was only able to played against people over the Net...

5:06 PM - Today I made a drastic error. I cannot get wrapping paper for the bags of Xmas presents on my floor. Does anyone else have Xmas presents, unwrapped and unsent? For that matter, does anyone have boxes still full from their move in the previous year? How about a ToDo list of projects that is reaching up into the year or more old, and are yet to be even started? How about medical issues reaching back a number of years? How about a career path barely chosen let alone followed? Or an entire life that will be started tomorrow? Procrastination, ad infinitum.

But I will write more about this later...

12:25 AM - Tee hee hee, this Icon War reminds me of my own desktop. No, my desktop icons don't have any lil wars but there was that time after 11 cups of coffee on an empty stomach... (via the orang king)

Friday, January 17, 2003.

6:11 PM - You know, there is probably a "technology vs. use" thread here with a phenomena happening on my blog. Some friends post links and whatnot in the top-most post's comment section, not relating to the post whatsoever. This doesn't bother me; they are just using the tools at hand to relay info to me (and others) really quickly.

For example, Mukey just posted the link to the story about Metallica suing an Edmonton punk band with the same name in the post below this one. I wonder if I could get a long drawn out thread started on MeFi about this phenomena? P.S. About the law suit; I wonder if Dr. Tongue, an Edmonton native of the furry nature could sue Doc, a member of said punk band, for unauthorized use of his name? What do you think Scary Cat Lady?

Wednesday, January 15, 2003.

11:14 AM - Whoah !! Look who is back!! Welcome Ed.

11:11 AM - To quote Jeremy, "I will not blog about job search woes. I will, however, show you this picture of cheese."

I can second the sentiment...

12:30 AM - *blinks twice*

Werewolves in pornography?

Tuesday, January 14, 2003.

10:30 AM - As if in "the day" when an adolescent would buy a new 45 single and play it over and over, J-Lo and Ja Rule have been playing (upstairs? next door?) for about the last hour.

2:03 AM - Hey, kids are popping out all around me!! Congrats to Martin & Popi on the birth of baby Zoe. So, Martin when does she get her first computer? *g*

1:51 AM - I can understand where da dooce is coming from but luckily, not being that popular has some benefits. You open up yourself to a world of abuse when you leave either an obvious email or a comments section. At least with email, the hate can be between you and your detractor. I have had few nasty remarks in my comments (debating with me doesn't count as nasty, so y'know) and they always come from one time posters, as if some people just wander the Net looking for sites to driveby-shoot their nasty comments on.

Weirdly enough, I got one yesterday from a post about math geeks from around 2 years ago. Insulting me by derisively mentioning that I am not in the league of mathematicians isn't going to bruise me very much.

Sunday, January 12, 2003.

10:20 AM - Just think, my dad as a woodworker could have jumped the gun and actually had me in his workshop early if he was making these Solid wood computer peripherals.

Saturday, January 11, 2003.

6:17 PM - OK, I downloaded the novel Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, by Cory Doctorow for my piddly lil Palm. The site highlites the amazing press he is getting, reviews and a weblog of activity. But what is the book about?!? I know it is about Disneyland (world?) but I have never been there so will I understand?

12:34 PM - Every episode of the latest "Outer Limits" TV series stars Molly Ringwald and Ian Tracey, at least according to the Rogers Digital Cable box. I still haven't returned the beastie and I don't even have any digital channels. The prawns on Video on Demand keep on calling to me.

Wednesday, January 08, 2003.

4:28 PM - My longest throw was 533.9. I am guess I just don't make a good spearchucker. Waitasec, wasn't that a racial slur? I was thinking of the old M*A*S*H character, Spearchucker Jones, but now I wonder as to it's origin... Enlighten me? (time wasted via east/west, which was reminded by the re-vamped double-trouble at tripledoubleyou)

12:26 AM - Yah. William Gibson has a weblog.

Tuesday, January 07, 2003.

10:53 AM - Hrrrrm. Perhaps this is not a good thing but I believe the friends lists of other people on Friendster are going to quickly outstrip mine and seem like highschool all over again. Or college for that matter. Or Montreal or Halifax or... But not Edmonton; in Edmonton I was the man.

Monday, January 06, 2003.

11:51 PM - A nice lil art zine that is a A Get Together To Tear It Apart, led me (see pages 11 & 12) to an artist named Tim Marrs. I will dig into my archives and see if I have seen him again. If i have perhaps I will remind myself. If not, perhaps we met in a previous life sitting, drinking coffee at the not-sure-they-are-yellow walls of the VanGogh (rhymes with cough) cafe.

9:48 PM - My life is different than theirs. It is, really. I sat and drank a grande dark roast while they drank some coffee beverages with whipped cream. They compared the costs of their latest trips to The Mall; I don't believe I have spent $500 total on clothing in the past 2 years. Two of them marvelled about how the chalets in Europe, that their parents are renting this summer, are quite near each other. I had nothing to compare to that; ever.

*shakes head*

9:46 AM - Toronto is still whining about the snowfall we had a few days ago. I will give them that it did snow for over 24 hours non-stop but it was such a wimpy snowfall that i just considered it normal winter conditions. You see, this is a snow storm.

Saturday, January 04, 2003.

6:59 PM - When people ask me how today went, but nobody really will, I will answer, "Shitty." And I will be speaking literally.

Today the basement utility sink & drain backed-up. The morning had me on my knees, up to my elbow in brackish, icy water trying to find a blockage. I thought the night's before mopping water was coming back to haunt us. Nothing was found so we called a plumber. As the day progressed the level rose and we found ourselves bailing it into an extra garbage can and emptying that in the alley. Then the plumber arrives, siphons off the rest of the standing water and unscrews the drain catch. PHOOM, a fountain of brown smelly water pours over the side and begins a trail down into the stock room. My friends, that water was not mere water. Let it suffice that I had to empty the stock room's front of all moveable goods, wipe up shit and mud, disinfect the whole floor and then put every salvageable thing back. My nose smells only of shit and disinfectant. I believe I will now shower.

For gawd's sake, somebody help me get work behind a desk again...

Friday, January 03, 2003.

11:36 PM - Tonight was a night to be savoured.

The snow still goes on as I walk home on the slushy streets knowing full well that half way home is The Granite Brewery and I have a $10 in my pocket with no prior engagement. "Forests of the Heart" is in the bag as well as some scrap for letter paper. I stop, order a pint, balance the book on the bar and begin reading. I find myself quickly smiling. The scene is an irish pub as friends sit and banter, some teasing, some cheering up of the downtrodden and some celtic music. I smile because it descibes exactly what I would love right now but somehow I am quite satisfied to be sitting by myself at the bar, drinking the tasty nectar and focusing on the book. Focus comes all too rarely for, I am enjoying it.

As I get my coat on, I notice their Xmas tree has many 6-pack boxes under it. "Do the boxes mean you are once again bottling?!?" I ask the server. Yeegads, they are and in both the LCBO and Beer Store. Xmas comes early or late?

The walk home takes me one block down Eglinton before I cut right onto a snow filled side street. "Where do I have to be right now?" I ask myself. The snow that has been falling for over 24 hours has created a dreamy state of fluffy trees and cloud like mounds everywhere. Even the SUVs lining the suburban streets look lovely, like frosted cakes. As I walk past houses still lit for the Xmas season I am transported to my past, to the streets of Ashby just before Xmas when my parents would drive about looking at lights and dropping by relatives' houses whom I only saw at this time of year. While I was the quiet, depressed kid I always secretly revelled in the doors that would open to see who was in their driveway and shouted voices of welcome. We would enter into strange houses of homey smells filled with the trappings of the season. I would see trees filled with boxes and wonder what was in each. Maybe I got socks, maybe I only got cookies but mostly I just sat in the corner as my parents talked. I saw all of this in the shadowy porches and driveways of Soudan lit, in the blues and whites and twinkling green-red-blues and the pain was sweet-savoury.

I hope the family who gazed out their window at me as I stood, staring at their pot-lit tree didn't think I was the boogeyman.

10:52 AM - Two things that I found when I wandered my community's website: job ads for companies wanting you to volunteer to do their website and a request for solo nude female models.

10:43 AM - You could probably say something about all the people linking to Po Bronson's lastest article derived from his book "What Should I Do With My Life?" I respond well to the article as well, as you probably already know. I answered the cocktail question a few (more) years ago, "I build websites." It was an answer I had confidence in, knowing I did it well and actually had a bit of passion for it. Can that be said now? My answer for the actual last few years has been "unemployed" or "underemployed". I guess I just need that drastic change and I am not sure if it is because I am not willing to or am unable to.

Thursday, January 02, 2003.

9:15 PM - Oh my frikkin' gawd, "The New" TNN CGI'd a bra onto Gina Gershon for their showing of "Showgirls". No I was not watching the movie, I was just flicking and caught the dancing brown bra that looks like it was placed on with MS Paint.

5:01 PM - I notice that for the New Year, I have become a very strange man. During the days at work, I am on, I am smiling and greeting, I hold doors for strangers and speak cheerfully to cranky customers, I banter and chat, I compliment and assist. But during these days I am not working, I am the unshaven lout shuffling down Yonge St. mumbling & grumbling to himself, a scowl on his face and a snarled epithet to inconsiderate passersby.

11:01 AM - If nobody filmed him, did stories on him, wrote about him or even discussed him -- would eating a dead baby still be art?

Wednesday, January 01, 2003.

10:59 PM - OK, I like seeing that they got Andy Serkis to do a scene as Smeagol, just before he clobbers Deagol but did someone really have to do Gollum Slash fiction?

10:49 PM - I very much like the idea that Dave McKean is going to create a movie that, some time in the future, will join my Labyrinth and Dark Crystal DVD boxed set.

10:44 PM - Alot of people are posting recollections on the year past, in a positive vein. I would very much like to do so but the only thing that comes to mind is: "moved to Toronto." If anyone else can remember something positive in 2002 that associated to me, it would be very welcome.

12:23 PM - I wonder about people's intelligence when I hear things such as AOL patents instant messaging. Essentially they are patenting a technology concept that existed before AOL existed. As long as there was an Internet, there have been methods to determine if someone was "active on the network" and then communicate in a realtime fashion with them. I used Unix Talk back in the pre-Web days. I used various clients in my BBSing days. AOL crept into the world then but did not have any IMing capabilities. Next thing, they will probably try and patent discussion boards.

1:06 AM - I have always been happy to see people share their knowledge, especially when they do a site of such well done Flash and site layout. I have mentioned youngpup.net at sometime in the past, but now the entire source is now available for download.

12:53 AM - Note the date; thank the gawds for small blessings.

We started the year with Honey Mead ala Count Locke. Nummy.